Helping Yourself and Your Toddler Regulate Emotions Together
- rubyarenacounselling
- Jan 30
- 2 min read
Gentle breathing practices for calm, connection and co-regulation
Parenting a toddler can feel emotionally intense. Big feelings arrive suddenly, often loudly, and usually at the exact moment when you are already tired, overstimulated or stretched thin. Many parents worry that they should be helping their child to “calm down”, while quietly struggling to stay regulated themselves.
It may help to know this: toddlers are not expected to regulate on their own. At this stage of development, emotional regulation happens through relationship. Children learn to settle their bodies by experiencing safety, closeness and calm with a trusted adult.
Breathing together is one gentle way of supporting this process. It does not require explanations, problem-solving or perfect timing. It simply offers a shared moment of slowing down.
Below are three simple breathing practices that can support both you and your toddler to feel steadier in your bodies.
Why breathing together can help
Slow, steady breathing helps to calm the nervous system, particularly when the out-breath is longer than the in-breath. For toddlers, breathing exercises are not about technique or getting it “right”. They are about watching, copying and feeling connected.
When you slow your breathing, your child’s body can begin to follow.
🌈 Rainbow Breathing
Rainbow breathing combines gentle movement with slow breathing, making it especially accessible for young children.
How to practise
Use your finger to trace a rainbow shape in the air, on paper, or on your child’s back
Breathe in slowly as your finger moves up one side of the rainbow
Breathe out gently as your finger comes down the other side
Repeat a few times at a relaxed pace
You might softly say:
“Up the rainbow… and down again.”
This exercise can be helpful during transitions, such as after nursery, before bedtime, or when emotions are beginning to build.
🧸 Teddy Bear Breathing
This is a calming, body-based practice that encourages deeper breathing without needing words.
How to practise
Lie down together
Place a teddy or soft toy on your child’s tummy
As you breathe in, notice the teddy rise
As you breathe out, notice it fall
Continue slowly for a minute or two
You can gently narrate:
“Teddy is going up… and now he’s going down.”
This practice often works well before sleep or during quiet moments of rest.
✋ Finger Breathing
Finger breathing is simple, portable and easy to use when you are out and about.
How to practise
Hold up one hand
Use the other hand to slowly trace each finger
Breathe in as you trace up a finger
Breathe out as you trace down
Move slowly across all five fingers
You might say:
“Up… and down.”
This can be particularly useful in busy or unfamiliar environments.
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