top of page
Search

And so, what am I up to now?

  • Writer: rubyarenacounselling
    rubyarenacounselling
  • Nov 11, 2025
  • 3 min read

Exploring Polyvagal Theory – Understanding Our States of Safety and Survival

As part of my ongoing continuing professional development (CPD), I recently explored Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges. This approach has deepened my understanding of how our nervous system responds to safety, connection, and threat, and how these states shape the way we feel, think, and relate to others.


Polyvagal Theory describes three central states within our autonomic nervous system:

1. The Ventral Vagal State – Connection and Safety

This is the “safe and social” state. When our ventral vagal system is active, we feel calm, open, and connected. Our breathing is steady, our heart rate regulated, and we can engage thoughtfully with others. It’s the state where therapy, learning, and creativity happen. For example, you might notice this state when you’re having a relaxed conversation with a friend or feeling at ease in nature. Your body senses safety, allowing you to connect and express yourself freely.

2. The Sympathetic State – Fight or Flight

When something feels unsafe or threatening, our body shifts into a state of sympathetic arousal. Adrenaline increases, heart rate rises, and we prepare to take action, either to defend ourselves (fight) or to escape (flight).In everyday life, this might happen when we’re stuck in traffic and late for an appointment, or when someone speaks to us harshly. It’s a normal protective response, but if we stay in this state for too long, it can feel like living in constant anxiety or stress.

3. The Dorsal Vagal State – Shutdown and Disconnection

If a situation feels too overwhelming or inescapable, our body may enter a state of dorsal vagal shutdown. Energy drops, we might feel numb, disconnected, or even detached from reality. This is the body’s way of saying, “This is too much – I need to power down.” Clients who have experienced trauma may recognise this as a feeling of emptiness, exhaustion, or emotional distance. It’s not a sign of weakness — it’s a deeply protective state.

How and Why We Move Between States

We move between these states all the time, depending on how safe or threatened we feel — often without realising it. For instance:

  • You might start your day in a ventral vagal state, feeling calm and ready.

  • An unexpected email or confrontation might trigger your sympathetic nervous system, causing your heart to race and your shoulders to tense.

  • If stress continues or feels too much, your system might shift into dorsal vagal shutdown — a sense of “I can’t cope” or emotional withdrawal.


Therapy often helps clients recognise and name these shifts. Through grounding, breathing, movement, or self-compassion, we can gently guide the nervous system back towards the ventral vagal state — the place of connection, safety, and regulation.


Bringing Polyvagal Awareness into Counselling Practice

In my counselling work, I’ve found Polyvagal Theory to be a valuable framework for helping clients understand their emotional and bodily responses. When clients begin to recognise their own nervous system patterns, they often feel less shame and more compassion for themselves. Together, we can explore what helps them feel grounded and safe — whether that’s mindful breathing, gentle movement, or connecting with others.

This understanding supports trauma-informed and person-centred practice, allowing therapy to move at the client’s pace while strengthening their ability to self-regulate and reconnect with a sense of safety.


 
 
 

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


RUBY ARENA COUNSELLING ONLINE OR IN-PERSON

Tel - 07854230444

Monday       9am - 7pm

Tuesday     No availability at present

Thursday    1pm - 7pm

Saturday     On request
 

Ruby Arena Counsellling located in
James Bews Osteopathy
20 Haywood Street
Leek
ST13 5JX

CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE
BACP
bottom of page